Rantings of a Blur Gal

What is fascism?

2008-07-30T21:43:00.002+08:00

(Plucked from a website)

This may surprise most educated people. One of the more common government strategies today, especially in developing regions is fascism. Fascism is commonly confused with Nazism. Nazism is a political party platform that embraces a combination of a military dictatorship, socialism and fascism. It is not a government structure. Fascism is a government structure. The most notable characteristic of a fascist country is the separation and persecution or denial of equality to a specific segment of the population based upon superficial qualities or belief systems.

Simply stated, a fascist government always has one class of citizens that is considered superior (good) to another (bad) based upon race, creed or origin. It is possible to be both a republic and a fascist state. The preferred class lives in a republic while the oppressed class lives in a fascist state.

Read more

Doesn't this sound very familiar?

ON 31ST OF JULY,

2008-07-29T01:51:00.002+08:00

ON 31ST OF JULY,
I'll embark on a journey with two bags ladden with pale white shirts and black pants.

ON 31ST OF JULY,
I'll walk with eyes cast down where my path looks bleak and funereal.

ON 31ST OF JULY,
I'll be brainwashed to saying "Resistance is futile"

ON 31ST OF JULY,
A new chapter starts

2008-07-22T02:41:00.003+08:00

Oh Hi.. are we suppose to be speaking like 'real' friends now?
Do I even need to?
TO WHATT?!?!?!?!?
To even speak with you?
Great... Jack Johnson huh? Why did you have to take away something that I love so much and turn it into some horrifying picture (YES, I AM NOT EXAGGERATING.. THE WORD IS HORRIFYING) I have in my head everytime I hear the phrase, " Yeah, we'll look at the stars when we're together"
YOU LIED TO ME!
oh.. noooooo...... Don't you dare say , "why would I lie to you?"
You know very well, that you did...
Shut up..
Just don't bother okay?
Sure..
Yeah.. sure
Yeah...
Great...
uh-huh...
Yeah.. I'm fine..

2008-07-22T02:14:00.003+08:00

I just had the weirdest dream last night..
Oooo... was is juicy? you mentioned dream, not nightmare.. so I guess it should be very yummilicious...
No. it wasn't a nightmare.. But it was certainly scandalous, funny , scary yet sexy at the same time..
uh-huh... are you gonna spill any details??
Haha... maybe for another time..
Awwhh.. Come on! SPILL IT!
hahahaha... if you have to know... it involves me lying to a certain someone that I have a child just to get someone to like me.. and actually doing something really really naughty.. and of course feeling really bad after that... and worse of all.. this certain person, is someone I haven't spoken to in AGES!!
Gosh... it figures.. you dreaming those sorta dreams..
HAHA! Don't you dare judge me! :p It was only last week you were tempestuous over a dream!
And, why am I always so witty and funny when I'm in my dreams?
Laughs..

It was the great Hobbes ( of Calvin &.. ,of course) who said:

"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each others dreams, we can be together all the time."

2008-07-18T19:16:00.001+08:00

Today I found out, The Bee reads my blog
So, this is for you: BUZZ!!

:D

2008-07-06T01:52:00.001+08:00

I am missing The Bee.

Shhh.... nobody knows i've...

2008-07-02T02:14:00.005+08:00

continuing blogging...

Sigh..
I hate that
I'm never gonna be as posh as you...
I'll never gonna be sipping to Verve Cliquot
Nor ever gonna say, "The darnest thing happened.." while being chic;
And having cock-tales as a conversation starter
I'll never take amazing photos on a yacht
and say, "ahoy there sailor!" to the most amazing guy you've been sleeping with

I hate that
I'll never be witty nor sarcastic
Or that I'm boring in so many ways..
Or the fact that I'm not that wild to begin with

I hate that
I was still collect stamps till I was 16,
while you were dating the hottest guys on the island
I have a weird looking 4th toe that curls inwards,
you can still look enticing while having a emotionally distraught week

I hate that
I look frumpy in clothes that you look gorgeous in
Or maybe the fact that hats just look weird on me..

I hate that
even if I tried..
I'll just ending up still being me...

.

2008-06-29T09:14:00.002+08:00

Yeah?
Yes, darling..
You know, I can't seem to do this anymore...I love him more and more these days.. you can't just came in and out of my life like that anymore..
No worries, I get you. She's the girl for me in many ways too..
So, that's that, huh?
Yup.
I guess the worse kinda love is unrequited love..
sorry??
oh.. Nothing, hun... Good night
Good night..

2007-07-31T22:26:00.000+08:00

i respect you for having something to believe in
But to believe in something so strongly and not understand what you are believing in , that is just blind faith..
Regressing or not progressing is something else
As i try to reach further to understand the craziness that has been happening around, i try to grab hold onto something to believe in myself.. try to find some sense in this... try to say,"ahhh.. maybe that's why they did it"
but... i can't..
as i pondered even further, it still hasnt made sense....

I have no apologies for this

2007-06-26T00:51:00.000+08:00

emo..
becoming more and more emo
:(
:(

just buy me some chocolates, or just stay away..

2007-06-20T00:49:00.000+08:00

I'm beginning to doubt my capabilities in getting through med school..
final year in med school is getting to me
it's already 1 and my feet are tired and I've yet to even complete half of what I'm suppose to finish for tmrw.
:(

beginning to think i'm just not cut out for it.
:(
:(

I've learnt a new..

2007-05-16T15:30:00.000+08:00

PICK-UP LINE!!!

"The doctor will see you now...
All of you...."
Winks...

LAUGHS!!! :D

Adelaide~!

2007-05-15T10:42:00.000+08:00

Not that country town that everybody would think I would hate!
I love Adelaide actually!

This is why I think Adelaide is beautiful!
Mt Lofty...
I can spend my hours here!

Vineyards of Barossa! One of the best wines ever, Kettlemeister vineyards..

Beautiful, ain't it?

My heaven!! a real-life chocolate factory!!

The best part of Adelaide, boys in swimwear in a club in Adelaide
It's MANHUNT!!! WOOHOOO!!!!
sweet...

2007-05-15T10:40:00.000+08:00

fave lines learnt from danny bhoy..(bhoy,oh bhoy!)

2007-05-08T22:40:00.000+08:00

( and soon to be often used by yours truly)

"kerfuffle!!"

"Not fucking funny, mate!" ( with strongest ozzie accent ever )

"Fiddle-dee-dee,potatoes!!" ( in a high pitched irish accent)

Fucking hilarious...

*another reason to miss melbourne*

2007-05-03T09:01:00.000+08:00

What I Miss...Food-wise! :D

HAWKERFOOD...everything also makan with cilipadi..damn steam!

Haha, I remember taking this picture, and his co-workers were yelling out

"smile for the camera satay-boy!"

Yup,southpac's food!

even my dad loves it!

loves it so much that we went there twice in the 3 days he was in KL!

Ahhhhhhhh.......Drools......

Loong Kee's breakfast!

Roti babi foreva!

Good indian food!

very-the-hard to find in Australia...

spicy-yummilicious-herby-goodness!

WHAT I DON'T MISS ABOUT KL

The ridiculously huge number of defective protons and the traffic jams!ugh!

A day more till i leave for adelaide..AND..

2007-05-03T08:36:00.000+08:00

Things I hear of Adelaide:

" You're staying 4 days too long!"

( and I'm gonna stay there for 6 days)

" You have to buy BOTTLED water! absolutely can't drink off the tap!"

( Man... i'm already being so pampered in Melb,drinking water off the shower while I bathe and all)

" There's only ONE main road in Adelaide!"

"WHY the hell are you going to Adelaide?!?!?!?!?!"

( and here i go explaining why again )

On the more boring note of things, I've started the dreaded part of traveling, packing up..

I do realise i have alot of shit, and bought alot of shit too..

I finally took my big travel bag for a weigh-in (at the gym!), I took me a while to organize it to be of at least 21kg!

I feel that I don't wanna travel anymore for abit.. feeling alil home-sick for unhealthy-by-the-road-side-nasi-lemak-packets-which-is-wrapped-up-in-banana-leaf, for authentic teh-tarik-which-you-know-tea-IS-not-suppose-to-have-such-an-orangy-colour-to-it,very-the-oily-char-koay-teow-with-hep-A-laden-cockles,having bird-eye-chillis(wtf, chillipadis lah!) with every single meal, every most of all friends and family...

Family who I love and cherish and miss...( and spend a whole load on too!) :P

Friends who are so sweet and send me emails and messages on my birthday.

Friends who tell me, "Jo, get home quick! I've got a surprise for you!"

I just can't wait to go home...

2007-05-03T08:33:00.000+08:00

2007-04-18T13:23:00.000+08:00

Look what I have been up to!!!

woohoo! a real chopper!

GUESS WHO I SAW IN CONCERT!!!

2007-04-11T14:17:00.000+08:00

~SCREAMS!!~

Yup, Johnnie it is! He was amazing live!
That's the update! :D

2007-02-25T16:58:00.000+08:00

Btw!
Get the new Kaiser Chiefs album; Yours truly, Angry Mob..
( I actually don't know why I'm promoting this album.. I don't usually promote albums.. soooo not my field.. )
But.. I think it's amazing..
:D
better than their last album!
woohooo...
When the heat dies down... when the heat dies down!!

2007-02-25T16:48:00.000+08:00

Cover of NG magazine,Feb 2006
Opening photograph (above) by Pablo Corral Vega

haha..
those who know me know that I have this love affair ( or even fetish ) with National Geographic magazine...
I love snuggling under blankets with my National Geographic and drool over the photographs ...
( haha.. not to mention some issues do have a ad with BradPitt on the back cover! )
hahaha..

awy... one of the old issues that I have is February 2006, where the cover story was "Love, the chemical reaction"

I find this excerpt very interesting:

" Marazziti compared the lovers' serotonin levels with those of a group of people suffering from OCD and another group who were free from both passion and mental illnes. Levls of serotonin in both the obsessives' blood and the lovers' blood were 40 percent lower than thosein her normal subjects.
Translation : Love and obsessive-compulsive disorder could have a similar chemical profile
Translation : Love and mental illnes may be difficult to tell apart
Translation : Don't be a fool. Stay away. "

Laughs!!!!!
I found that rather hilarious actually..
awy...just a random tip: if you want to make me happy, buy me a NG magazine!

2007-02-24T22:15:00.000+08:00

i try so hard..
I do..
I cross my heart..

I try..
But everytime i read a book, or watch a movie..
I get the same feeling..
that same old wanting...
but no guilt..

I want this to work..
I really do..
just make me work..

2007-02-24T00:47:00.000+08:00

I had enough at looking at photos..
stupid reminders of the past.
I hate reminders sometimes
just burn it you say..
i will..
toss it away ...
no more you..
no more...
goodbye you..

2007-02-22T22:43:00.000+08:00

Be still.

Be still
surprised.

Be still
surprised
by the day today.

Be still
surprised
by the day-to-day
miracles.
— Kevin Anderson in Divinity in Disguise

2007-01-31T22:33:00.000+08:00

I finally bought my tickets to Melbourne today..
I'm finally actually going to Australia..
in 8 weeks time..

let's stupify jo even more..

2007-01-25T21:04:00.000+08:00

Lecturer (to me) : okay.. Joanne Low, please explain to me what makes you female?

Jo ( very confidently ) : Well, generally speaking .. I could be genetically XX or XY...

And way behind I could hear BigGrinBen sniggering and uttering, " yeah.. give her Danazol and Jo will be a male.."

Jo : @___@
I'm so not that of a tomboy!!

THEN HunnySyikin had to cry out : XO!! XO!!

And what's worse was...

Lecturer : LOOK AT HER!! Does she look like Turner's to you??!!?

Jo just stared at her boobs and started to blush!! @___@

come stupify me...

2007-01-24T17:36:00.000+08:00

SoCuteICanJustSmackHisAssJoe Says: So you finger-fucked anyone yet?

Jo : @___@

2007-01-24T01:18:00.000+08:00

Random post:

I have a crush... on my lecturer..
but the minute he walked into the tutorial room.. my face blushed...
I could feel the blood rushing to my face...
I couldn't stop giggling..
Goody2shoesKen said I was embarrassing him..
I was so nervous that if he would ask me a question in class, I might blurt out:
" Sir.. I think I love you! "
My god... he's just delish...
I think I'll take up his offer ( not personally to me.. but generally to the whole class.. dang...) , and go visit the Pathology lab more often...
Faints....

Conversations with the my buddy with 'exessive graphic novel syndrome'

2007-01-24T00:00:00.000+08:00

Jo says : i'm either having excessive estrogen inhalation syndrome..
or just extremely frustrated that the surgery that i've studied so hard for GOT CANCELLED!!

BestieMel replies: ok jo this is gonna be sick...
but when u sed 'excessive estrogen inhalation syndrome'
i imagined u sniffing around someone's vagina
BWAHAHAHAHHA"

2007-01-20T21:36:00.000+08:00

This goes out to my favourite buddies who live in apartment *edit-edit* ( didnt think it would be that smart to put the address up.. NOT as daft as someone who lives there who told a psych patient where he lives and one day found that his shoes were stolen!!! hahahahahahahahahaha )

In a couple months time, my favourite seniors will be DrJoe, DrKev, and DrPrabs..
Man... Damnit.. then I'll certainly will miss you guys...
Please don't leave..
please..
Let me beg and grovel..
just don't leave me..
:(

2007-01-20T21:16:00.000+08:00

Right..
After more than 3 months of not blogging.. why start to blog again, you ask?
Like I always.. I only write or scribble when I'm starting to feel the blues.... or about to burst with nonsensical babble..

For now.. just a couple of updates..
With the start of my ObGyn posting,( and the start of a new year ), things are starting to look alil different to me..
Although I still feel the same insecurities.. the same neuroses....(which I think no amount of psychotherapy can cure)... ;
I fell in love with Rachael Yamagata
I'm finally getting my passport stamped
I don't think the world needs another idiot like me to populate the world
My housemates are great...
There's always someone gonna be hotter than me, prettier than me, so why sweat it?
If he leaves me, he's definately not worth it.
Some things just NEVER change
I still have the mentality of a 7 year old
I found out life is always about taking risks.. That's why life sucks..
And to all my crazy friends who think that Grey's Anatomy is the template for medical life,
I'm sorry to disappoint you.. you are definately disillusioned.

2006-10-31T15:24:00.000+08:00

Hey...
I'm feeling slightly miserable and feeling alil pathetically bored outta my skull..
Soooo.. I'm gonna do my fair bit of attention seeking...

I always wondered who actually stops by and reads my blog...
So...
Do me a favour, ( and entertain the poor girl ) will ya?
Pls drop a comment on this post ...
a "TIM WAS HERE!" thing would be good as well!

Pretty please??? with sugar on top!! :D
Thanks!

2006-10-30T15:59:00.000+08:00

You know, even how hard you deny it, or suppress it, your unconscious will try to make it very conscious for you through your dreams.
I've got to admit this, I'm NOT the most popular girl in school back when I was in school.
I was fat ( well, I'm still fat now.. but on the chubbier side, i hope.. :P) ; super-geeky ; no sense of humour and fashion .
And I have always been really envious of those really really popular girls.
Those party girls, those girls who already had boobs and really model looking bodies and dating really hot guys when I only had books to accompany me on a Friday night.
I was 15 when I met her.
I didn’t know her really well, but I know her enough to be really jealous of her.
To want her clothes, to want her friends, to want to be her friend, just to be her.
She was hot, she made the girls hate her, and the boys love her.
She was popular the minute she walked in the hall.
Up to now, she is still beautiful and her life is still fabulous.
This comes the SAD ( not the boo-hoo sad, but pathetic ) part of the story..
Last night, I dreamt that I was her friend.
Not her , but her friend.
And upon waking up, I realise that I can never be as free-spirited as her, I can never be her.
Or even a mould of her.
And I hate myself for that.
I hate being a nerdy , fat , loud-mouth , girl.
But, this IS me.
Whatever diets I try, I will always be big-boned.
How hard I try to shake off the nerd bit in me, I always BE a nerd.
And I have to accept myself for that.
And it's hard.
It's fuckin-wankin-bugger-shit-ass-hitting-bitching hard.

Alright, you can call the psychiatrist on me now.
I am such a messed up girl.

2006-10-27T15:41:00.000+08:00

i'm at starbucks!
freaking starbucks..
and i have to go to the island to go to a coffee place where there is free wifi..
fucks...

hahha.. on a lighter note.. my sis just conned me of a subway, frappucino, and later sushi!!
gosh! and she's only 14!! hahhahaa

The Blues...

2006-10-27T01:26:00.000+08:00

As I lie here, I finally understand why they call it the blues..
I have always liked Billie HOliday, but had never heard her crooning away while immersing myself in the way she would have felt every single time she sang a note..
The blues....
I'm feeling the blues..
Now, can I just OD myself already?

2006-10-21T10:38:00.000+08:00

THis is what I feel today..
emptiness
a deep hollowness...
in this nulity state of mine..
nothingness..
just leave me alone if i pass out from numbess...

2006-10-21T00:26:00.000+08:00

Turn away if you are not a John Mayer fan..

I would like to say again that JOHN MAYER ROCKS!!!
I'm a BIG BIG BIG fan of John Mayer..
I love the sultry voice.. his smokey yet laced with tinges of smooth butter voice makes his songs heart felt..
He has this breathy quality to it that just immersing in his bluesy tunes makes the songs sensual and subtlely very sexy..
and as I lay on my bed nearly close to 1 am in the morning accompanied by the soulful tracks from his album makes my day not that bad after all...
that's why no man can be better than John Mayer in bed..
:P

edit: I just found out that John Mayer is in Amsterdam.sigh....
I wanna go Amsterdam... :(

2006-10-15T00:45:00.001+08:00

And what becomes of you my love,
When they have finally stripped you of,
The handbags and the gladrags,
That your Grandad had to sweat so you could buy.

So in love with The Office..
Yes, my weekend is spent watching The Office, (the UK version)..
addicted...
and to prove i'm a nerd as well.. gonna watch the special features.. THEN watch series 1 and 2 , again!
and Mackenzie Crook as Gareth Keenan is like hilarious!
haha..

2006-10-14T22:15:00.000+08:00

AATTTCCCHOOOOOO!!!!

well, multiply it with 5 hundred and add in the sore throat and cough...

hence why i am spending a saturday evening all by myself in my room with the sniffles..
ugh.. dont seem to know why I'm so prone to get sick this semester..
terrible..
:(

2006-10-10T01:31:00.000+08:00

Attention-whore.. me?
Yeah.. I think so.. hhahhaha

2006-10-05T12:50:00.000+08:00

We always hear the statement , " The mind is a powerful thing. "
I very much agree with that statement.. esp after going through psychiatry.

Reading up on conversion disorders, imagine, the mind can tell the body to have a neurological symptom despite the body being very much healthy and normal.

I still remember when I was back in Paediatrics, there was this 12 year old girl, let's call her Anna ( tribute to Freud's first patient, Anna O )

Anna, presented with a right lower limb paralysis.
Just occured suddenly.
Not transiently
This is her second occurence of the same presentation, which 'healed' spontaneously the following day.
First thing that came to mind, neurological disorders..
the doctors tried ruling out spinal cord disorders, polio... and nearly everything under the sun..but nothing in the history fits the typical presentation of such disorders.
Well, let me tell you a little more about Anna's social background.
She is a child who is fatherless, and her mother has to work couple of jobs to earn the family a living. Therefore , no time for Anna.
Anna has a few siblings that had to be taken care of by Anna.
The only people looking after Anna is her aunt and uncle who seems to care alot for her. ( from What I observe in the wards )
Not only that, Anna is going to face her trial UPSR exams the next day.
Besides that, Anna seems to be very calm and indifferent about her paralysis. Never once cried or looked distressed over her condition.

Could Anna have conversion disorder?
Could Anna be said to be la belle indifference?

And although she was kept in the ward for a couple of weeks for investigations on her paralysis, she 'healed' spontaneously in the next couple of weeks and was sent home.

Anna's primary gain? To express the unacceptable feelings of hers into physical symptoms just to avoid facing them?
Anna's secondary gain? To benefit from the symptoms? To get more attention from her aunt and uncle? ( I see the uncle was very loving, carried her from the bed to the wheelchair.. practically carried her everywhere ) To escape the responsibilities of being the eldest sibling? To avoid facing her UPSR trials?

Well, we know that these symptoms are not intentionally produced...

but , what we have learnt in psychiatry is this : We should never label one as a psychiatric patient unless we are really sure. and we should always look for a medical cause of the disorder, before labelling someone as a psychiatric patient..

I'm not too sure about Anna. But my provisional diagnosis would be Conversion Disorder.
Interesting?
YOu bet..

2006-10-04T18:29:00.000+08:00

I've watched Miami Vice!!
It's superb!
Fantastic!

and Gong Li?? Now, that's one heck of a lady..
She makes me proud being chinese! and being able to make out with Colin? damn... Now's that's just plain unfair..

awy,thumbs up to Miami Vice..

( and this time the black guy didnt die.. ) :P

2006-10-02T23:20:00.000+08:00

i burnt a hole in my fave MNG pants..
a hole..
FAVE
MNG pants
which i got it for like 40rm!
a hole..
with an iron..
no fucking joke
sad..
sad...
sad....
having typical signs of bereavement..
:(

think i'm gonna give my pants a proper burial...

2006-10-02T20:04:00.000+08:00

I'm so sick of sterile cold swimming pools with artificial waterfalls with their fake rocks ...
I just wanna grab my magazine and bikinis and run to the beach... with REAL palm trees, with REAL sand.. WITH REAL SALT WATER!!! i wanna go back to home... go back to the island... just wanna get away from the cold heartless chaos of the city..
4 days more and counting...

2006-10-02T19:42:00.000+08:00

WAHHH!!!! ( try saying it with the super chinese accent!! )

hahha..that's what I uttered aloud in the faculty in the stillness of the morning, when I saw my name being the first student, on the first day and the first session of the practical exams!

*thoughts of impending doom flood Jo's mind*

2006-09-30T15:44:00.000+08:00

no cause to celebrate though, BUT I HAVE JUST (nearly) completed PSYCHIATRY!!
Wooohoooo!!!
last friday was my last day in the ward..( at least for this year )
Come tuesday, will be my exams.. and voila! i'll be whisked off to the craziness ( i dont mean psychotic crazy.. but-more-of-non-stopping-running-around-in-the-middle-of-the-night-for-two-whole-weeks-hoping -to-get-myself-down-and-dirty-with-blood-and-gunk-excitement!!!! *orgasmic pleasure* )

yeah yeah.. I'm just glamorising it all..
but i'm hoping A+E would be superbly interesting!!

Talking about medicine..Nope..life is SOOO totally not like the movies ALRIgHT!!!
and GoddessD keeps on asking me about Grey's anatomy.. Nope..no cute guys where I'm at.. pooor me.. if i'm hoping to bag myself a surgeon.. NAH!!! hahahahahahaha.... nuh-uh..kinda sad there are not much eye candy among the doctors in HKL..
Well... the only really cute one was during my very first clinical posting, Surgical posting.. the houseman in ward 11.. drools.. ahahha.. cute.. but he's already at Klang Hospital ( i guess )
then, another one too.. haha.. it's always a coincidence that whichever posting.. he'll be somewhere near... nearly most of the time.. first surgery.. then paeds.. he's cute.. but kinda too sterile.. hahahaha... ( if anyone reading this know who they are, SHUT UP, ya...I'm feeling embarrassed already.. :P )
besides these two.. uhmm.. no more cute doctors...
at least none that i've bumped into...

oH OH OH !!! i remember one!!! he was a houseofficer in P2 one day.. he had that long hair and really cute smile.. but i only uttered not more than 2 sentences to him..and I FROZE!!! hahahahahahahaha... so juvenile right??

well, A+E is coming.. hopefully can get to bump into really cute drooling sizzzling hot doctors where spending a night in the hospital will be just another excuse to spend some more time getting to know him!! hahaha..

and yes, I am that shallow!! :P

awy... one more long enduring week of exams in psychiatry left for me!!
super excited!!!

I would like to emphasize once again:
JOHN MAYER IS GOD!!!!!!!! WOOHOOO!!!

2006-09-13T12:33:00.000+08:00

My life has been pretty bland..
but am secretly enjoying the blandness of everything..
:)
where nothing happens... everything is just quiet...
hope is not the calm before the storm..

2006-09-09T15:01:00.000+08:00

For those who love QI..

I love love love LOVE LOVE this sniplet!!
alan davies is sooooooo cute!!

2006-09-03T19:34:00.000+08:00

oh what do you expect!
oh.. tell me , what did you expect?
to lay it on my head..
so is it all upon my head..
bang.. bang you're dead!
-Dirty Pretty Things-

haha.. my sentiments exactly..

in a sorta different parallel journey..
not myself lately..

Ash, my housemate who was on call in the A+E dpt one night, quoted a patient who was given drug to relieve the pain of his fracture..

" Masih sakit tak? "
" Sakit.. tapi.. sedap.."

Man.. I gotta grab myself those drugs!!

and , a very random statement : John Mayer is the MAN!!

2006-08-13T05:12:00.000+08:00

I realise something about me today actually..( besides that the girls meaning the world to me.. ) :P

I realise that I'm a much more confident person than I am before..
I dunno how it happened.. But I know what made that happen..

btw, BoytoyJoe!! I like your new hair cut!
Makes you look cute as a bug!
Makes me wanna cut my hair shorter...

2006-08-13T04:44:00.000+08:00

I'm looking through old pictures that I have on my com..
Makes me miss the girls..
Makes me miss the beach..
Makes me miss the fun times we all had with each other ..
Bitching about boys, crying over anything and everything, having silly conversations over nothing, giggling and laughing the silliest things, and just getting high on life with you girls..

Thank you, girls for everything..
For pulling me thru shit..
For lending a helping hand when I needed the most..
I miss you girls!!

Jamie,now I know how you feel darling...
Looking at old pics really does make one very sentimental indeed..

Jamie... we miss you tonnes.. stay pretty for us,alright?
:)
and of course, please put in a good word for me with the pilots,k? esp the so-cute-can-die ones!!
:P

Haha! this picture always cracks me up!
Remember that night we giggled so much that pple actually stared at us??
:D

Circa-long goddess like hair..
Therefore, very old picture.. :)
Missing the crazy fun at the beach...
Mel, Fli,DK ..remember the time when the parasailer fell on me?

2006-08-11T02:55:00.000+08:00

BestieHoyden: Think you'll blend in with the rest of the crowd next week..

you guys must be thinking why the hell next week? Jo is already crazy and says the silliest things at the oddest times! well, come Monday, I'll be in my psych rotation..hence , blending with the rest of the crowd..

irrational fear #73 :
being locked up in the psych ward
hosp staff thinks you are one of them
" I am NOT mad! get me outta here!" , doesn't seem to work..

yippie... *note the sarcasm*

2006-08-11T02:22:00.000+08:00

I wanna run off to the beach..
:(
I need to wake up in 3 hours time... and this is what I do.. blog? pttthhh...
I really miss the beach..
I beginning to feel too dry in KL again..
ugh..
:(

LOST: Jo's ability to be funny

2006-08-10T21:23:00.000+08:00

I think I've lost my sense of humour..
I dont write anything funny anymore..
The last time I said something funny was actually lame..
Ok..You don't believe me?
Your ears might bleed from this..

It was TuffBoyAlex's BBQ thang, and I was introduced to this guy named Schaffer..
So, the sorta hostmaster kinda needed the spelling of his name, therefore gave Schaffer a pen to write his name.
Jo whispers to friend , "oh look, a pen is holding a pen!"

told you it was lame!

Darn it! I need to get back the part of my brain that generates silly goofy humour..
I'm turning to a super-duper-mega-ginormous geek ( wait.. I am already a geek)...
with no sense of humour..

Being juvenile..

2006-08-06T22:10:00.000+08:00

I think I'm in love with english men..
haha.. the pale paste-y complexion..
My favourite one is now ALAN DAVIES!!

oh my gosh! I wanna marry him! he's a comic genious!

And would you like some Alan in you?
Check this out!

Haha! he is just amazingly cute!

More pics of Alan Davies...

And this when he is absolutely hilarious!! now this song will be eternally be in my head ..

" Peter Cushing lives in Whitstable, I have seen him on his bicycle, I have seen him buying vegetableS!!! "

wahahahahaha.. Rolling on the floor laughing!!!

2006-08-05T20:51:00.000+08:00

i know i havent updated my blog in like super duper ages..
But since I've dedicated 4 hours of my time to watching rowan atkinson's stand up comedy act, stephen fry and hugh laurie on youtube.com , I decided to talk about them alil.
THEY ARE HILARIOUS!!! I SUPER DUPER LOVE THEM!!!
Bring back the brit humour!!! hilarious smack down, never stop giggling, of dirty silly political brit humour!!!
droools! and i absolutely love hugh laurie.. I loved him in House,M.D.
And i love him even more now! he is superb! smashing!! stupdendous!!
my god! he has the bluest blue eyes ever!! and he's funny! aahhhhhh....
I love the bit where he sang this!
amazingly funny! look at his face!! i can just lick his face off! yummies!! he is SOOOO incredibly hilarious!!
too bad he is married..
:(

2006-06-14T00:27:00.000+08:00

I would like to rant and complain...
but it's near one am now..
Think I would like to be an optimist..

~I think I like today,
I think it's good..
It's something I can't get my head around... ~
Angels and Airwaves, Good day

2006-06-12T20:26:00.000+08:00

She couldn't explain it, but there was something je ne sais quoi about him that she found devastatingly attractive...
She bit her lip..
She looked away..
And he was gone..

2006-06-11T21:50:00.000+08:00

crumbling down..
breaking into pieces..but,
I will not cry
I will not break down..
I must not break down..
I cannot let my sanity go..
I will not.
I must not..
Just leave me alone..
Just let me be..
I need to get thru..
I know this..
I can see this..
But for now,
I just wanna wallow here in my lil hole of misery that I dug so nicely for myself..
Don't ask me what's wrong
Don't say that it's gonna be okay..
Don't say hold on....
Don't say everything will work out..
Don't fucking state everything that you fucking know it is gonna turn out okay...
JUST FUCKING DON'T...
just let me be..

2006-06-07T19:43:00.000+08:00

I realised I don't HATE kids that much..
I realised I have compassion too...
I realised I'm not that ice queen that I thought I was..
I realised I breakand crumble too..

ugh!!!

2006-06-05T19:03:00.000+08:00

I'm so frustrated with myself.
Ugh..
ugh..
ugh..
ugh..
ugh..
extremely frustrated with myself..
I cant seem to put down in words!but how can somebody like me can do so many stupid things all the time!! ALL THE TIME!!
AND I NEVER LEARN!! I KEEP ON DOING THE SAME FUCKING THING!!!
FFFFUUUUCCCKKK

2006-06-04T17:30:00.000+08:00

In a few hours time, I'll be a 4th year medical student..
Scary..
Scary..
SCARY!!!
Stressing emotional wreck I am...
No more carefree hours of me running off to seaside or to the pubs or meetin more boys!
No more carefree guiltless hours of me indulging in non-academic reading..

For the time being... I'm gonna be bouncing to the brit indie sounds of Boy Kill Boy.. with alil Barry White love-making tunes in between..
*grooving my tush*

~Countdown..countdown.. Countdown to disappointment~
Suzie, Boy Kill Boy

me and my hacked off tresses

2006-06-03T18:40:00.000+08:00

Wind-blown hair in my face

Post Hack-it-off!

Post Hack-it-Off 2!

Fact: Jo is a nerdy nerd

2006-05-27T19:15:00.000+08:00

Here is more proof that I am a nerd

The MMA magazine came thru the post today.
And guess what was included in it?
The Clinical Pratice Guidelines For Diabetic Nephropathy..
C-P-G , you know!

I was literally jumping up and down , till I realised that I was being such a nerd..
haha.. Had a good laugh at myself , and smacked myself in the head.. :)

Oh another thing!
I'm gonna get hair chopped off!!!
My longhairsince14 is gonna be chopped off!!!
I'm so excited!
woohooo!!!! change is good!!

In a Third Eye Blind mood..

~~When we met light was shed

Thoughts free flow you said you've got something

Deep inside of you~~

2006-05-26T20:28:00.000+08:00

I so wanna run away to the beach again..
To clear blue waters...
I so wanna grab somebody (boy or girl) and just do a getaway..
Pulau Perhentian,maybe?
Can someone just please spare a weekend with me?
Just you and me...
I'm desperate..
I just wanna be golden-tanned,my hair matted up with salt water, lying in the sand with chick-lit..
Quiet beaches..
Please???
Before the monsoon season starts??

I wanna be NIGELLA LAWSON when I grow up!

2006-05-26T19:03:00.000+08:00

Drools...
I wanna be Nigella Lawson..
Man.. she can be my domestic goddess and I will worship her.
hahahhaa..
Oh my... she's full in places which matters and yummy.. and when she tosses her salad with her bare hands.. I just wanna lick off them off one by one!!
I'm sounding so les right?
MY god..
Drools..
Why can't I be Nigella Lawson when I grow up??
:(

2006-05-26T18:53:00.000+08:00

I have succumbed to my previous addiction..
But now with a different buzz..
Bossa is back for me!
This time pumped with a tinge of jazz and a slap of pop!
I'm hooked to Sergio Mendes' Timeless album...
bellissimo!!!!

2006-05-24T20:11:00.000+08:00

I have no car
I have no cash
I have no coffee place to hang out
I have no bicycle to ride around suburbia
I have no more dvds to rot my life away
I have no broadband
Worse of all..SOMEONE STOLE MY AUSTIN POWERS DVD!!!
:(

*sob sob*

2006-05-17T01:32:00.000+08:00

I'm using dialup!
Ugh.. how desperate can I get..
:(

2006-05-16T23:46:00.000+08:00

Feeling emo today
I'm missing having fresh flowers on my table..
I'm missing catching myself smiling just looking at the red roses..
I'm missing the memories of roses bring...

2006-05-16T23:44:00.000+08:00

music transcends boundaries..
That I know .. FOR a fact..

Happy mother's day!!

2006-05-14T11:56:00.000+08:00

Happy Mother's day,Mom!!!
Haha.. dad just looks so goofyily cute in pictures

2006-05-14T01:00:00.000+08:00

Missing out on something that was not mine anyway..
Hanging on to something a piece of paper
The only means of me connecting to you..
But I have to destroy it..
Before it destroys me
I've been submerging in my own neuroses .
Day by day..

Not a drop of alco touched since last night..

Pangkor!!

2006-05-14T00:17:00.000+08:00

Back from the sun and sand and I'm not tanned enough!
hahaha..
besides getting nibbled on the butt by the fishes in the sea while snorkelling, I actually had like tonnes of fun!

All of us before our island hopping thang!

The gang at Turtle Bay

Me at Lookout Point

At the lobby of the apartment we were staying at..
Look at Ben at the furthest right.. Does he look like a run-down combat guy with the helmet and the camera bag strapped across like a bullets strapped to him! hahaha..

Me and Lovable PP.. he is superb on a bike.. I never felt so safe as a pillion rider! :D

On the boat for island hopping..

Cam-whoring away!

2006-05-09T15:48:00.000+08:00

woohoo!! In mel office now!!!
fun!

2006-05-09T14:11:00.000+08:00

Nothing changes..
No ups ..
No downs ..
Stagnant ..
I feel like I'm sinking ...
In nothingness..
Retail theraphy did not work at all.

2006-05-09T01:19:00.000+08:00

Emo-ing out today..
I just wanna runaway..
wanna run to the seaside..
with me and the one i desire..
which I know that will never be..
I just want to laugh freely again...
I just wanna know that smiling can be possible..

It's Indie Rock and Roll for Me!

2006-05-08T03:54:00.000+08:00

Aww.. come on.. just guess who am I listening to now..
Haha..
Yes!!
THE KILLERS!
Been listening to them the whole day..
From seeing them in them in Season 2 of the OC.. to blasting them right thru my tympanic membrane to 4 am in the morning...
I absolutely love them...
the New-Wave sorta UK-ish accent..
love love love...
The Killers!!

random thoughts

2006-05-05T02:14:00.000+08:00

If I pass this exam, I will be in fourth year.
Fourth year..
Joe is gonna be in fifth year
Man..
In a year's time, Joe will be Dr Joseph ..
And I'll be in fifth year...

I'm scared shitless..

2006-05-03T17:55:00.000+08:00

FREEDOM!!!
I'm so done with med school!
for at least 4 weeks..

Then, I'll be back trudging my feet around the wards with my coloured pens in my coat's breast pocket...
But for now, I'm gonna seriously ENJOY my holidays!!!!
WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
I'm gonna sit in front of the tv and watch MTV whole day..
fill my days catching up with all the soap dramas, and DVDs..
Wait...that's not really enjoying.. hahahha!! that's just being a sloth...

haha...
I'm gonna catch up non my non-academic reading..
I'm gonna get out in the sun more.
I'm gonna work out more..
I'm gonna go on that ROAD TRIP with my GALS!!! *Cheers!!!!* ( btw, make sure there's like beer in the cooler in the car ya.. :p)

First order of business..
Went of with lunch with my Boy-toyJoe today!! ( he is so gonna detest that I called him that!)
Had a WHOLE load of fun!
I was like laughing the whole time I was with him..
HUGS!!!!!

Now, back in front of my laptop..
dizzy from being high from finishing the paper..
haha.. such a nerd thing ya?
hehhee..

2006-05-03T00:24:00.000+08:00

I dont know which is sadder...
Me pretending this is real
or
Me hoping that this actually can be real
You tell me
An illusion ..
That I choose to live for the moment..
I like the sound of the voice that tells me "It's okay"
So, I'm deciding to live in this illusion..
For the moment...

Two choices are definately not better than one..
:(

2006-05-03T00:21:00.000+08:00

It's 12.20 in the morning ..
And i'm still sitting on my stupid chair in front of my freaking notes..
With Franz Ferdinand playing in my head..
Damn you ringtone!!
:(

so freaking stressed out..
so freaking messed up..
just so fucked up..
:(

I just wanna get out of here..
really fast

2006-04-28T22:37:00.000+08:00

IT'S NOT FAIR!!!
:(
*pout, pout,pout*

JOE IS AT ZOUK FOR ANALOG GIRL!!!!!!!!
And I'm stuck at home..
ugh... can't wait for this day to end..
:(

2006-04-28T19:54:00.000+08:00

From Bro's status msg: The walls of my memory divides the thorns from the roses, it's you and the roses ( Afterglow, INXS )

Cool lyrics..

Me and my neuroses

2006-04-28T19:52:00.000+08:00

What's with me and my own neuroses...
What's with my problem?
Why do I have to torture myself this way?
Why can I just lie in bed and do nothing but obsess about what's to happen or what's not to happen?
I can't even understand myself, and yet why do I yearn for someone to understand me?
It is just another one of my things to feel complete...
A friend once said to me, " You can never get what you want."
I don't want much..
Just enough ..

Am I falling in love with a concept , rather than an object?
Funny huh?
You can never see the truth till it's too late..
But the weird thing is, when I have my mind set on something, nobody can actually say anything to change my mind.
I have a mind of an ass.
:P

2006-04-28T19:50:00.000+08:00

No longer shall I be afraid.
No longer will I be you
I will be me

2006-04-28T19:46:00.001+08:00

Hooked..
man.. I can just listen to this song for hours..
hahaa...
SimplyButteryButtercup! Dont you dare give me your weird stare.. hahahahha..

Sexual Healing baby, is good for me
Sexual Healing is something that's good for me
Whenever blue tear drops are falling
And my emotional stability is leaving me
There is something I can do
I can get on the telephone and call you my baby, and
Honey I know you'll be there to relieve me
The love you give to me will free me
If you don't know the things you're dealing
I can tell you, darling, that it's Sexual Healing
-Marvin Gaye, Sexual Healing-

Of men and pigs

2006-04-27T00:50:00.000+08:00

I love it when you look deep into my eyes and I start giggling..
I hate it when you start to restrict the way I live my life
I love it when you can't stop talking ..
I hate it when you promise me something but till now I don't see anything yet.
I love it when you say that you love The Killers
I hate it when you say that you hate The Killers
I love it when you say I don't look 23.
I hate it when you can't keep your hands to yourself
I love it when you are sensitive to how I feel
I hate it when you are too sensitive with your owns feelings
I love it when you don't ask too many questions
I hate it when you don't ask questions and yet expect me to tell you to tell you everything
I love it when you spell fly as 'fligh'..
I hate it when you come up with pick up lines , " You look like the morning sun."
I love it when you give me the freedom to choose
I hate it when my freedom to choose comes with restrictions.
I love it when you smell of alcohol and a tinge of cologne..
I hate it when you say that I stink of smoke and ask me to get cleaned up
I love it when you think I'm wacky and cute
I hate it when you ignore me when I start turning neurotic
I just love you, and yet I hate you..
Men..
They all want to put me in this box...

Disclaimer : this is not about one single person.. so please dont assume anything..

2006-04-26T23:30:00.000+08:00

As I sit here , in front of my WHOLE LARGE STACK of dermatology notes....
i think i'm gonna gag all over again...
I fucking hate dermatology
Shit...
It's just not my thang

ARGH!
it's so freaking dry and it's just so freaking boring..
:(

I think I'm gonna cry...
:(
I've got like less than a week.. and I still can't bring myself to actually super study dermatology
blergh..
I think I'm gonna puke
:(

2006-04-22T23:29:00.000+08:00

I can't dance the shuffle to save my life...
hahaha..
I will just look like some kinda retarded kid with a limp..
hahahhahah..
I'll just stick to my booty shaking dance..
:D

2006-04-22T14:00:00.000+08:00

Pain, give yourself a name
Call yourself contrition
Avarice of blame
Giving isn't easy
Neither is the rain
When she gives herself away

Daisy, why another day?
Why another sunrise
Who will take the blame
For all redemptive motion
And every rainy day
When he gives himself away

-Daisy, Switchfoot-

Thought for the moment

2006-04-21T13:07:00.000+08:00

Overwhelming temptation..
Just me and you…
I’ll just breathe you in…
It’s just devilicious..
Think of the darkness that fills me
That embraces me whole..
Ahhh….
Nothing is as satisfying as you…
I need some new addiction before I can let you go..
The high..
The unattainable high…

another bimbo post...

2006-04-20T10:14:00.001+08:00

guess what?!??!?
My personal santa just bought me another zara dress!!!!
omg!!

it's flowy... sexy.... and so oscar-like..
it would go soooo well with my gold heels..
I'm gonna so wear it for my birthday night..
:D

*will blog the pics another time*

thanks,santa dahlin!!!!!!
hugs.,hugs..
MUAKZ!!!

2006-04-19T12:38:00.000+08:00

I think I just wasted the whole morning..
:)
blissfully...
:D

awoken by lecturer..
Think he thinks that I'm a pig , sleeping in till 9 .. hahaha...
Answered... very very drowsily...
hahahha..
memalufiying..

went for a swim...
:)
nice..

took a long bath and now still procrastinating to tunes from the OC... hahahah...
and it's already 12.40pm..

I'm gonna feel so guilty later...
haaha...

2006-04-18T10:55:00.000+08:00

Goodbye Monday blues..
GOOD MORNING beautiful Tuesday morning..
Hoping today will be different ..

*crossing fingers*

2006-04-17T21:56:00.000+08:00

okay..
My day just got worse..

What's worse than being royally screwed for the day?
Being me..
Me as in being a retarded weird girl who does stupid things without even consulting with her brain first.
I just couldn't have a second to think..
NnnnnnoooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo..
I had to be spontaneous..
Now,I feel being spontaneous is alil wee bit too dumb.. hold on..
NOT WEE BIT!!!
IT's a GINORMOUS MISTAKE!!!

1. My car remote thingy had to break down on me..
2. And I had to make a decision that I shouldn't have done

I'm so bloardy screwed...
My whiskey and coke is not helping..
:(

Emoing with Foo Fighters- walking after you...

Rant ahead...

2006-04-17T16:59:00.001+08:00

Bloardy effss....

Just came back from a dermato revision class..
I was so royally screwed there..
out of the questions posed I could only answer like 15% of them..
and from the 15% .. guess how much I got correct..
I'm so screwed..

What kinda questions are these????!?!?
DENTAL CARIES CAUSES URTICARIA?!?!?!?!??!
WHAT THE EFFS IS NECROBIOSIS LIPODICA DIABETICORUM???!?!?!!?
HOW WOULD I KNOW WHAT IS PRV CAN CAUSE GENERALIZED PRURITIS?!?!?!?!?!

I'm so bloardy screwed...
so so so screwed...
Need to buck up on my 7 weeks of lost dermato knowledge...

2006-04-16T22:00:00.000+08:00

From home :

We watching a “Wedding Date” and the movie was set in England.
Sis walked by and said : Hey, they are speaking in Austin Powers language..

:D

2006-04-15T12:07:00.000+08:00

The dermatogist's art is giving a disease a long Greek name.....

and then a topical steroid.

-Anon.-

Haha....it is so true sometimes...
Picked this quote up from a dermatology book I'm reading...
There are more funny quotes...
Eg.

A mighty creature is the germ

Though smaller than the pachyderm

His cystomary dwelling place

Is deep within the human race

His childish pride he often pleases

By giving people stramge diseases

Do you, my poppet, fell infirm?

You probably contain a germ

-Ogden Nash, The Germ-

ROTFL!
I actually let out a tiny-loud-ish snigger at the train station while reading this...
Had a few weird looks tho..
:P esp when they see me looking at fugly pictures of skin diseases and sniggering away.. hahaha...